Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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