You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
