I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
