OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
