Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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