Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
