Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
