Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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