he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
