dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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