If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You're breaking my sexual little heart
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
