google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
