oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
