White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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