Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
It was confusing and full of hummus
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize