I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
