oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
