I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize