Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
