Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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