So drunk, too bad you don't want this
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
