on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
