the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
