Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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