Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
