Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
