Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
my being single is dangerous.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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