just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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