3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
