I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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