a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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