The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
