he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
