even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
