I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
