meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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