How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
