I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
