So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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