I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
