I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
My liver just had a heart attack.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
