So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
