i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
