when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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