I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
