God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Hippo gnu deer
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
