just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
