You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize