The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
