I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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