I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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