Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
