I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
