I think i peed on brittanys purse
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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