never play flip cup with pint glasses
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
