Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
