My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
There r osticjed everywhere
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
