I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
