Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize